https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/2017gbefi daily 0.75 2019-12-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929608238-5Y4XU38FRJF1PV0B07Q4/1+Syntagma+Square.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Syntagma Guard on the perimeter, keeping watch, keeping safe the march and soon to think it seriously uncool. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929608238-5Y4XU38FRJF1PV0B07Q4/1+Syntagma+Square.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Syntagma Guard on the perimeter, keeping watch, keeping safe the march and soon to think it seriously uncool. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929606707-LSI2KZ9J5SV9CO3RIELU/2+Monastiraki.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Monastiraki Up from the area we've become familiar with, shopfronts are boarded up and melons are bought and sold out the back of cars. She's been watching for a while. She knows exactly what happens next. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929614340-57DDBTSXNDD5DTL2B0YK/3+Athens.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Athens What if he isn't waiting for anyone, or going anywhere, he's just picked a prime vantage point with his back to the tiles and his eyes on everyone around him and on how strange everything is. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929626049-1DPH0DSYMDT9D9LLOG82/4+Paros.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Paros Expectations and fantasies disembark in backpacks and unwashed socks. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929631269-HU4EKLVYECHWBKTCDB17/5+Perissa.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Perissa Middle of summer and quads are singing from midday on. The way her upper lip reaches down into her mouth it's almost like the thrum of those engines is her own. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929637091-MO8F4B6KNSAPPOUE74XF/6+Th%C3%ADra%2C+Kikladhes.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Thíra, Kikladhes Calypso steel coats the cobble with a cool silk and vibrates underfoot, like the volcano is waking up. It'll be different to hear it as a CD. Without the background noise. Without the kid crying over dropped gyros chips. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929637717-J8AKTT6BOAAJIWH8U0Z7/7+Th%C3%ADra%2C+Kikladhes.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Thíra, Kikladhes Ocean and sky run pitch into nothing, where people walk into what they think is everything. An island of edges. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929653589-SRJC9FFZMUVERH9QYKM5/8+Perissa.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Perissa Breadsticks in a paper bag give me a strange sensation. And it has happened before - where I nearly remember something, and I know it's there but I can't quite see it, and I know for a reason I can't explain it's important. But then it goes. And I don't know what it was, but I know it was something. All from breadsticks he meant only as a way to keep me coming back. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929655440-GNVC20VBJAKM5YKAY4QT/9+Sami+Harbour%2C+Kefalonia.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Sami Harbour, Kefalonia Twisting, fastening, untying, bundling - getting his old fingers moving like a bag of worms made him happy. For others it was a passing hell. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929827443-AK5H72JY9F5SPQAXOBE8/10+Kast%C3%B3s%2C+Levkas.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Kastós, Levkas They say it's bad luck to walk under strung tentacles. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929826819-4YG2V7WNJSNNX6YM6PNE/11+S%C3%A1mi%2C+Kefallinia.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Sámi, Kefallinia There's a bag of peaches, tomatoes and bread between her slippers, and, a moment ago, one finger between her eyes. She ran it down - her own sign, something of hers in here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929830410-PTDDRW9JJIA77S0YM706/12+Kast%C3%B3s%2C+Levkas.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Kastós, Levkas Flotilla arrives late and the only space for them here is in the water. They longline and see rocks, one of which is the cragged top of an earth-old mill, and there's a man pacing by the ropes with something on his mind, and the island gives off an incapable, or unwilling, light. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929836354-6FIWN7K9PMWSTXSRUP5H/14+Athens.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Athens Ruined temples and pillars without roofs play to upturned sweaty brows like cobras out of baskets, but no one comes here, to see colour and faces and today's abandonment, to see evolution. Never restoration. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929838294-T6OU7E4DPY0UDAP9L6TA/15+Athens.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Athens He says that if you don't buy... the great blue monster will open its great yawning mouth and swallow you whole. And if you don't read what you buy? It might just untie itself, ripple into the air, and fly until it finds you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929846898-ZNOR06UUX2F5XLEI06KB/16+Athens.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Athens It is a state of emergency. Lines break out of single file and disperse in crashing waves; ten pairs of hands on one apple. Style, however, and poise, and restraint in the face of impending disaster (as disastrous as the last time) - that's all in the bag. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929849348-91KUF8FU4XZC1K97JHQ5/17+Athens.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Athens On the other side of the square he peeled serviettes off a sandwich of crumbling boiled egg and black olives. He ate quickly and without regard for flavour, though he seemed equally uninterested in the conversation of his peers. I don't know why, but I'm picturing heterochromia behind those shades. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929862564-ABLGTC9G2PVQE5OG651M/20+Bansko.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bansko Thousands of years ago, this early in the morning, goddesses unwrapped themselves and went lithe and slow down the ridge. Then they walked into the lakes, shawled and singing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929878133-094CV7MEIH8N8IVCLPCG/22+Pirin.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Pirin Up now where everything is some kind of blue; hard rocks under-paw. The chairlift was even harder. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929877826-TTR5DR7EHYNZ9S985K6F/23+Rilski+Manastir.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Rilski Manistir It was, for a time, not permitted for churches to rise higher than the height of a horse. So his ancestors turned their heads to the ground and built down - the same ancestors who demand his own downwards gaze, their accumulated bulk straddling his shoulders. He obliges. And all the while, these people, these faces, who see his through a camera. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929882743-2IOQRYKYXXD7J7H4MKQH/24+Lakatnik.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Lakatnik You think you're the only one in a place which makes you feel as though there's no one left. But even here there are others with the same idea as you, and rooms with ideas of their own, rooms bent out of all recognition. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929939604-FL5PIPUW6RQ3CCD1Q77N/25+Lakatnik.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Lakatnik When we left she was standing by the tracks with what looked like a cigarette. Train moves off, stick my head out like a dog, fingertips splay on the veneer like I'm waving through the wall. It isn't a cigarette. She's holding a stump of chalk. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929947709-N73RZCTUYINK29JTKXU3/26+Lakatnik.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Lakatnik It hides in the green with its HAL9000 star, and it is sorry, and it is afraid, but it isn't going anywhere either. It still feels it might take over. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929947068-XVP0L4S30DMZSR819KIU/27+Vratsa.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Vratsa A white sheet contours the shape of the altar like Magritte's Two Lovers - another place, another, that has nothing left but shape and love. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929954556-LHFQOKC1WSU4TP5KTK6B/31+Plovdiv.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Plovdiv I walked between those tracks. I bent down and turned my hand over, turning the sharp of my knuckles to the metal. Still hot with the day's heat. Nothing to look at. Nothing amazing. But there was touch; the true sense of it, and a sense of being there, and of being the only one there in that moment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929966430-JJXUCFCR80U79Z6JALOI/33+Sofia.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Sofia Before the revolutions, kings and queens sat in palaces overlooking hedges and horses. Now they inspect queues and leave their groceries by pigeons. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929966129-TRFPVFJBX0C8X79UJEH1/34+El+Maadi.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - El Maadi Cactus fruit pulp is smeared under the tyre like the guts of an alien, some extraterrestrial that came all this way only to be run over by one of the many, many drivers here who have somewhere else to be. And fast. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929978727-RY6ERJ1GMW1C9XSVGJUN/35+Dahshur.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Dahshur A man watches over a civilisation somewhere in the sand, and is being paid very little for it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929969512-ISY0Z3KYVF3YLBVUHVK5/36+Dahshur.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Dahshur Ahmed follows you in and down but you're looking up at the soles of his feet. The air smells cold, but isn't. Nor is it air. It's breath, long accumulated. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929980568-NHIK3CMQ8DKAJL8YOFY6/37+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo My own people. They’re the words I will him to think. Look at me and think them. Don’t think I’ve just turned in here because I’m lost. It’s the language that I’ve lost. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929988854-SEDKZU7RXV4WR2UT8V7R/38+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo His private oath, the promise to himself he never likes to think about - and he isn’t entirely sure when he made it - is to fix the world without ever being noticed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576929994388-K6WLFVSOFKJ1S0SAKLNA/39+Saqqara.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Saqqara A city of twenty-two million, that’s in the day. At night two million leave and they go back to wherever it is they woke up. Every day. Every day he says he sees them go about their coming and going - I think he likes to give you the impression that, out here, he neither arrived nor left. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930002585-75C8WIXPWBM299UN0ELU/40+Luxor.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Luxor Give the kid the baguette. Go on. He’s hungry, he’s been dragged around for hours and the sun has only just come up. Go on, he’ll remember you. So I give him the baguette, which he promptly gives to the cameraman - who clearly can do without the extra bread, who swallows it whole. That kid idolises him. The boy didn’t want the baguette. The boy wants the camera. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930003511-QQMUACLGCH524HOS8IC4/41+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Giving them a piece of her mind, a glimpse of her body; a whole other world of wisdom, never stopping to collect dust but kicking it up instead. She’s going places. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930018977-A2HLNA8C2JE6SS802ZKL/42+Giza.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Giza And on march the new travellers who do not stop. Well, perhaps for a moment; the right moment at the right place. And on they go. This is what humans are to the earth. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930016511-VY55UMHS6XD6L35ZM5WE/43+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo The cemetery is not quite walled in. New living works its way inside while death topples up and over and out. Everyone who walks here is in the middle of their journey. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930030334-BNK81HR0U6ONTN3AY004/45+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Francis Bacon ribcage, teeth, greyed fuzz, and gullet - daubed onto the dirt like oil paint, heat rising and drying it from the inside out. City is a gallery and the floor is a wall. I feel dizziness, and distance. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930029726-J2HWQ93LBLAP9H5SRSIS/46+Luxor.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Luxor No one is up early enough to see the eclipse. They’re all up late, really late. Entire families will be up and out at midnight. Children with footballs, old women with suspecting looks. For now we’re up here, over their roofs. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930038002-33AEU2EHHWQ1JH0DKGOU/47+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Reefs are colourful stillnesses, and they’re vicious: the coral spill their digestive systems out over each other, and whoever eats first grows on the skeleton of the dead. The same goes here for waste. It competes with itself. It lives, and kills. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930056851-ZY5VTBND72BNK1AJY0PN/48+Qasr+Farafra%2C+Al+Wadi+Al+Jadid.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Qasr Farafra, Al Wadi Al Jadid Hussein climbs. He has smartly worn white so the limestone smudges don’t show. I look for equally elusive signs of fossilised fish in the chalk glacier. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930064942-QAPR2NKPX7DLS6AMIQE8/49+El+Maadi.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - El Maadi People stand on their balconies and look down, but never expect to see anyone down there looking up. They don’t know how to deal with it when we make eye contact. But there’s no one there today. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930067094-LB55C26L2QGQCK59QNL2/50+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Rain will never ruin the table because it never rains. Nothing interrupts proceedings. A game can go on forever, and it looks like this one has. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930074562-H2A94M35B17U7GDESRPP/51+Giza.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Giza Soft-treading footsteps are blown away in seconds, and centuries of directionless wandering are lost to people like us. To he and I, who are only ever making money—or spending it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930079178-RAXYGOQGTCAQ8KB501HH/52+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Old cars appreciate in value when the new models hit the market. Mileage and missing parts are irrelevant; it’s the name that sells. Of course, if you can see a name under all that dirt. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930095372-VQG6M5VLFPFWRD9H7YB5/53+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Not that it’s legal, but things would fall apart without it. That’s the conclusion which he has arrived at. He and everyone else who has had to make fire out of sticks. I suppose you’d call him a parking attendant, though your ticket is a swift nod and his payment varies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930090450-MPNTOVNF13UXPGERZKQE/54+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo We’ll never know if we’ve shared an amazing coincidence because we’re too estranged to recognise it. Did I happen to walk by you in the morning, on the other side of the city, only to pass you again now, hours later? Give it ten years and we’ll have exchanged a glance. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930094349-PN27IGXZML7LB6CHGYOS/55+Bahariya.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bahariya Spiders, like blown-up bone fragments, glow moon-white and mad on our pillows - there’s no ideal place to sleep. And it isn’t as quiet as she said it would be. Then again she’s a loud snorer. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930108472-8KWMFCZL52R04F1IWZBU/56+White+Desert.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bahariya Everyone’s finishing breakfast. Hany is on the bonnet of his car, strapping poles and quilts onto the racks. I take the opportunity to excuse myself, to disappear behind one of the sculptures - enormous misshapen amulet; keeper in solid rock of ancient secrets and dead languages - to take a piss. Near my feet is a shell. In the middle of the desert. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930109078-VMCVKVQGYJZQ08UCUZDI/57+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo An unadorned post seems to stand in spite of passing photographers, or perhaps because of them. Fences, walls - anything to distinguish between areas of the most important type of trade, and any area where I’m not getting in its way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930124641-5LDP94IFB5C80RBBH77F/58+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo Tumble headlong out of the Metro, pass coins on the scanners beside the security gates, to here. I wanted mango juice. That was when I was thirsty. Now I feel like following a stranger and asking him to tell me everything. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930118095-P24M5KJJH4OWJS93PQR8/59+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo We’re looking for the best deal on self-priming pumps. He’s looking for any giveaway glance that we might be considering other offers—he knows we know what street, product, and game this is. He’s cool. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930129252-VPWCJJZVSHCL1GOH8Y5E/60+Cairo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Cairo His shoulders knead the air like dough, turning it over, letting it rise before pressing it back down. It’s his small way of getting back at a city that does the same to him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930132326-ZI7L27HU38A2HAKN27PF/61+Qasr+Farafra%2C+Al+Wadi+Al+Jadid.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Qasr Farafra, Al Wadi Al Jadid Any moment now something wondrous is going to happen, he’s sure of it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930139798-DOGGHMF9GVPHVAV24QGD/62+Lyon.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Lyon The rubbish on the streets is sculpture, it’s leisure. Public art, for the betterment of our view. View of life and how nice it is, and I haven’t got a window to look out of, but I have a whole lot of energy bar wrappers to throw out. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930140718-VKI44E4F999POZJ5PSXE/63+Lyon.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Lyon Turn to one side, see the life you put aside and talk to the host that’s in its skin. We are each other. Decisions, life paths; they are invisible. We stare right through them when we make eye contact. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930149018-VWX0VDTI7BYSY1WFBZ5N/71+Lyon.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Lyon According to her, the best time to cycle the city is three in the morning. Especially after a night out. She refuses to download the app which indicates which bicycle rental bays are still free, preferring instead an apprehension that cools her like the night air. So, crossing two rivers and streets, which in the darkness seem to all be guarding something, she risks it. For a half hour her phone in the front basket navigates in an antagonistically English accent. She gets to the bay closest to her unit. One space left, every time. Every time. That is what the streets here conceal, but would never admit to—a fondness for the clichéd ending. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930155761-K3ORXDWMR0FGP91TFYC1/73+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna Early morning. A lady looks with distaste at one of the stragglers from the night before, bottle in hand, hair across his croaking frog stomach. “The city had walls once,” she told me later, knowing only by the sight of me to use English, “but now it just has doors. Open doors.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930157607-B4O0AWIOG33S2VYPTX7K/75+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna Around the corner from the larger square, they stream instead out of a bar that claims walls as floor. Standing room only. Crowded like a Cubist, dark and late night, red wine and tobacco. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930172561-XWJKLDEOHCH6JSTD4Y9S/76+Milan.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Milan A farewell to ten years, which lasts for ten seconds, makes me think. Makes me think of the room that’s opened up. I’m passing by this house. What if I stopped? What if, in ten years, I was the one with arms around my arms? So much of life is deciding on who to introduce yourself to. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930170105-WMZR7I2HZKW9MUDAJE6O/77+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna I found a shrivelled pellet of old rice, hard and small and grey as a nail, stuck in the wheel of my suitcase. I found that yesterday, having wheeled it from Centrale to the bus to the edge of my bed. That was one the city had prepared earlier. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930180654-P8HEHCYFBET7JJ5VHVTV/78+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna Which one of their lives is about to change forever, or just has, and are they in their circle talking about it, or wondering whether they will ever get the chance—or are they talking about nothing at all? If I joined them, if I take up just a little more of that portico, maybe it’ll be my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930183525-FJHDVLE8V6G3CTHA1IVU/79+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna You don’t want to learn guitar, learn another language, learn the secrets to longevity. You don’t want to move in and split the rent. You don’t want to attend a workshop for your self-confidence, or to get rich quick, or to look after a pet, or to look for a lost one. You don’t want to buy a wonder-drug. You don’t want to try a pillow that will revolutionise the way you feel when you get up in the morning and come to terms with the fact that you do, in fact, want all of it. You want everything. You want so much of everything that life itself is frightening. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930194586-QUBNCZKL0LJ0RJMQLSL5/80+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna Way back in Cairo, edge of the Maadi market, I photographed a man crossing the road as if suspecting the ground of giving out beneath him. He went fast and light with one eye on his toes and the other where they’d land. I imagine him landing here. I imagine his entire world as the fragment of a pebble, too heavy for me to hold; take hold of. Three pyramids in a desert. One sanctuary on a hill. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930205645-7D8VCALUIULI4FSE78JX/81+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna I reached the end of wherever it was I thought I was going and waited in the trees, for anything. A monk to unlock the door and hobble in the other direction, a pair of snapback pigtails to slip past with the jangle of spray cans. The building, however, has other ideas. It is at lonely peace. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930210962-AOR9T7XGIGRWQO4ENNPL/82+Bergamo.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bergamo A proud father, wishing he didn’t know his child, that they had never met or, at least, that this was their first. Wishing the young lad was a better striker. He has been a good father, supportive, and he has a good and dedicated son. But this man is not a selector or scout or coach, and he doesn’t know anyone in the game. He sits all day opposite a computer. He stands to watch his boy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930220796-S03JSI5KH2CG57P1DH99/83+Milan.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Milan Corporate man with spiritual leanings, walks upright and does not waver or hesitate, or hold back, or hurry. He knows where he is going—that doesn’t mean he can’t wish he didn’t need anything to get there. His face seems to say, “it’s all just a job in the end.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930229813-OFEEQ9JRLXQI7GLTD20B/84+Arcetri.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Arcetri “In that house,” says the old woman in Italian, “I learnt how to stew stomach. That’s a meal that keeps you walking even after your shoes wear out.” It all obviously required translation, and even once I’d heard the words in English I wasn’t entirely sure it had been translated correctly. No, she said that. The lady, statuesque, nose like a marble column and teeth like temple steps, is a relic of the ancient cuisine. Lampredotto—cow stomach—fuel of elderly women who walk high in the hills. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930233804-ZVMKJUJV2ESVJ13BN9VJ/85+Bologna.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Bologna Everyone makes a run for it. Through the rain I can still hear that the square is busy, but I’m not altogether certain. Busy here is not the erratic, unordered type of busy. It is a cool and controlled, temperate kind. A leopard in a tree. And as if under the wild cat I move slowly, feeling that any minute I’m going to be leapt at. Someone has left gold unguarded. The roller doors are down. A footstep in a puddle behind me. I’m being watched, and sized up, and followed. And I’m hungry. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930238761-EB6X6YF4JVHCRR2BN9OL/89+Florence.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Florence There’s an event on somewhere downstairs. Even without the looks they were giving me, I know I shouldn’t be up here. My first inclination is to imagine where I’m meant to be, and, whenever I end up getting there, if they’ll tell me the same thing. Or at least look me over in the same way. Maybe where I’m meant to be is where there’s no one at all. I’d like to lie on the top of one of those red roofs and wait for rain to slide me back down onto a street, any street, where I’d proceed to apologise—without any hint of excuse, and perhaps inciting rebuke—to an old lady who thinks I’m just another young kid who likes to misbehave. I just like places with nice views. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930247627-UW533QZZLU2Q211T4Q5R/90+Florence.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Florence Streets back home don’t make way for bicycles like they do here. Or maybe they do, but the distances are that much greater I just don’t see them. I certainly don’t see helmets. What, on the basis of local knowledge, do they presume to know? That the number of tourists (who seem to outnumber them three to one) will break their fall, should an accident send them flying? Or that here, in the stone-walled echo of the Medici hymn, safety as a concept is unheard of? Hundreds of years ago they excommunicated dissenters and beheaded the wayward. Now they bicycle to work and think about all the tabs they have open, thankful that neither cars nor sunlight will get in their way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576930252276-I59NE8XCELFXUDAZ13VX/91+Florence.jpeg 2017 Greece, Bulgaria, Egypt, France, Italy - Florence I probably shouldn’t be here but no one is around. A dog barks. That’s a bad sign. It stops barking. Which is worse. The space it vacated becomes the receptacle for a liquid thin slosh of city noise, as if all of a sudden the chest of the hill heaved and collapsed with a cough from the city on the other side. It is my last day here—maybe I’m being overly alert. Either way I’ve come to rethink what, before arriving, was impressed upon me: the history of the area. Yes, it’s historic. Of course it is. But what they really mean to say is that nothing much seems to have changed. https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/2016vietnamcambodia daily 0.75 2019-12-22 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/t/5dfeddb827eac52da1831140/1576927287482/ 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/5dfdffbcc3cccc26288bdee4/5dfe003796c1db55a0c32757/1576927287482/ 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927382823-L348X85383SAU7PUX34Q/1%2BL%25C3%25A0o%2BCai.jpg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Lào Cai I saw in her smile the squat and pluck of the terraces, and got the impression she'd not seen much outside of them. I was an idiot. She took one look at me, long, like "yeah, I know him", and looked away. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927313601-BYCZE2UJR9YYPEPIBGDG/3+Ho+Chi+Minh+City.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Ho Chi Minh City Eyes shut, not all the way - just enough to squint through his eyelashes. So the sugar of the headlights and shop signs stretched mastic. His own light show. Free, just for him and five minutes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927321066-V7WEWE0MSU4MJOFUSM0H/4+%C4%90%E1%BA%A3ng+%E1%BB%A6y+Ph%C6%B0%E1%BB%9Dng+H%C3%A0ng+%C4%90%C3%A0o.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Đảng Ủy Phường Hàng Đào Wedged between elephant pants and The North Face, a hole in the wall, nothing left to prove. He holds the brush like a pinch of salt - you don't just do that. That takes years of practice. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927322922-TP2E51AIQX9IO9E5DLO7/5+Du+L%E1%BB%8Bch+V%E1%BB%8Bnh+H%E1%BA%A1+Long.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Du Lịch Vịnh Hạ Long "Are Oreos vegan?" She'd lean in to hear our questions and the whole show would be on the verge of capsizing. What would she have done with that red coat soaked? A few chocolate bars and bottles of water sold can't be worth all that rowing. But this is water hawker territory; they're a separate breed to their sandal-slinging cousins in the mountains. They're made for the wet cold and the little coloured packets and the questions we ask without any intention of buying. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927333162-P9HGL1XCP3NX5W6Y9FPZ/6+X%C3%A3+Lao+Ch%E1%BA%A3i.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Xã Lao Chải A buffalo went by earlier, head heavy like solid metal pushed over the ground from far away - Apis bull, desert in the fur and mud under the hoof - around which jumped puppies. Cute and cuddly. They took away from the way it regarded us, with a final judgement. Then the boys followed, stomping and grunting and thinking they've bagged themselves one hell of a mate. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927332850-4A6TAYHIAZE5HFBFL5V2/9+Hu%E1%BA%BF.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Huế Fishmonger wipes at her nose with the underside of her forearm and gets stuck in. On a little stool opposite, chickens on chickens on chickens in cages and the old man whose knife she took. He toothpicks jackfruit with his eyes closed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927343802-CTK7IAW5OCMQ9ULTSJWL/13+Ph%E1%BB%91+Nguy%E1%BB%85n+Tr%C6%B0%E1%BB%9Dng+T%E1%BB%99.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Phố Nguyễn Trường Tộ The city is an old woman lying down. Hair across the back of her scalp, flat to the pillow and wet and grey. But you don't see that. You see lipstick and eyeshadow and colour in the cheeks because when you visit her, you stay in your seat. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576927342582-BJ4A7K82COISJBZ25HMV/14+%C4%90%E1%BB%93ng+Xu%C3%A2n+Market.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Đồng Xuân Market Children leave their daycare and vacate the squatting stools for chefs with portable stoves, tissue boxes, sweet chilli and cucumbers. Under that raincoat and out of that exhaust - potential for similarly transformations. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576928238932-3MY986LDP79MYAFIZVF6/7+Phnom+Penh.jpg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Phnom Penh Graf on the wall, black like the char - signs of use, of ownership. The heir to this empire of tubs is sitting in the barred window. She's seven or eight years of age and has lived for centuries. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576928239539-KTV7ZR4P9RBKS86FWUP2/8+%E1%9E%9F%E1%9F%80%E1%9E%98+%E1%9E%9A%E1%9E%B6%E1%9E%94+Siem+Reap.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - សៀម រាប Siem Reap In the nine-in-the-morning, thirty-degree wet thick of heat, there's an odour so sweet it colours the air dark pink. Carcasses are being split, globules of stuff sit heaped against tiles, and under nearby chairs, clumps of hair - a barber is in the market too, scissors for knives. Ironically, it's all about making things look right here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576928249990-PJ0FN915U2HZ7OE41OEJ/10+Angkor+Thom.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Angkor Thom We disappeared into the past, his dad disappeared into a hammock, he played with toys he pulled out of a box. His roads won't be cushions for long. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576928254577-C9PSHF61Q3F6F981I1WM/11+Chong+Khneas.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Chong Khneas I'm no broader in the shoulders than the little cyclist, certainly no better a cyclist, and now he spits sugarcane down my leg and rides off into the sunset like he knew I wanted a story. Photo courtesy of Jayne Martin. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576928255860-C8JB0Z6AMG87WUN5273J/12+Cat+Cat.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Cat Cat With a hop of her tiny feet, God conceives galaxies. Photo courtesy of Richard Hall. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982302564-07BH7VX3VXK04E49E0N2/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%288%29+2.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Sa Pa The memory of every hand-picked grain becomes a loam that sits on these pink and green and blue flowers, and we worm our way through, and my palms feel like they’re touching though they’re by my sides, and I bite down on a hard uncooked grain, and there’s a Snickers in my pocket. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982304211-83WVXDPFD7UJHSQIA4DB/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%288%29.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Sa Pa Sparks dance and grow tadpole legs, blushing salamander spawn, chasing us past the women in their plastic sandals and the children with their bracelets for sale. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982310969-PFICRNW7O6M8QKSUPXN2/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%289%29+2.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Sa Pa A pilot, psychiatrist, and actor wait by the road for the means to nurture their dormant talents into careers. Nothing comes by. In the city the roads are choked. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982312095-DINYMA8NXHF6OH2Q8T9T/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%289%29.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Sa Pa Two sheets of corrugated metal march up the hillside on two bending backs, up to this house, over their heads: adult responsibility is objects and climbs. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982318251-QIAT9NX7DCT8BDCGJA7E/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%2810%29+2.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Hanoi A very religious place with temples to North Face and Nike; icons like expressionless Byzantine Christs with fingers raised, they look at the wall of materialism and cannot see the nothing on the other side. The cycle of needing the most expensive whatever-it-is-they-do-not-have-but-cannot-afford-anyway, it continues, making a fake tick. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982318867-LTL31BFX1ZZYAR9PCB5E/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%2810%29.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Sa Pa Minutes before the fog came over. Hours later you can hear a footstep in mud. You can hear the greenness of the mud. You’re reminded of the terraces and trees and run a finger over your knuckles. Cup your hand over the other and make a little atmosphere. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576982327771-SPCU7WVUQWFM23BV1M3S/Scan+2019-12-22_11-24-00%2811%29+2.jpeg 2016 Vietnam, Cambodia - Sa Pa Sugar and coffee and condensed milk coursing through me as if being sucked out. A baby’s maturity, knowing nothing, receiving everything, reducing it years later when consciousness is more concerned with buying food and drink. https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/2019-nepal daily 0.75 2019-12-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143493759-1323O2R8NBFUTL2MQG9J/1.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143493759-1323O2R8NBFUTL2MQG9J/1.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143504921-UTHOT1H78QY7RE5HTL5Y/2.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145707305-PGOXSWNTRWO35H0TST75/HIMALAYAS+-+Sky+Burial.jpg 2019 Nepal - Sky Burial (extract) Kathmandu is magnificent and complex. It’s a place of immense richness and equal poverty; co-existence and integration of distinct religious traditions; and continuing challenges for women. The Himalayan villages are in one respect more progressive than the city: while for generations men worked outside, women ran teahouses - and, in the world of modern tourism, this has transitioned into women running businesses. In Sky Burial, Bidhya’s deceased husband was a porter. On their backs he carried deliveries while she carried their child. Now Bidhya has an impossible path ahead of her. Script available on request. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143521517-P4YCSSJ6SRGRT91573R1/3.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143545686-5FYSG20ZQ7EA67C8L44N/4.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143552653-KUTRI0IWMPJLLW2HGX8N/IMG_3241.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143600265-Y34NGPY5KGAGATB1H3KE/IMG_3289.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143585631-2J2DTWOBDITDDRL8BEFS/IMG_3321.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143641806-NVAW2GHMT376CZ6KK550/IMG_3381.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143641145-FXH627EOWDDX837MC0D4/IMG_3392.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143680964-2UKZD7BS03OC2EDUZU3H/IMG_3393.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143671326-A8J9WXTR36CU2ZF5A8FG/IMG_3400.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143722216-6Y7YE878MS71HDAWXG0M/IMG_3405.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143719876-5B7RODE0JQKJSVB9ELU8/IMG_3419.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143748034-WBWJKD1W85K5YYPGUG2T/IMG_3421.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143768922-KZHJXCC6V1U9JRBB9VB8/IMG_3554.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143794495-H8B5G5N3UAOGCBILR58Z/IMG_3605.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143785002-H8XPS76XUOY4M2H9PARD/IMG_3607.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143835378-2EEXMRUJEOENS5N3E7B5/IMG_3631.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143833528-YFTZN5U6K6V5RL826ZKX/IMG_3639.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143858517-97AF5GXR1UCKGPGPF8BB/IMG_3647.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143865901-ESNRRXWQ2H9E5KYDJ3KV/IMG_3669.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143915662-GQ7REGEIFKU768Q40PFA/IMG_3675.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143934207-7A1VXAQMFFYOUJ37LH1K/IMG_3719.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143956109-NZSEG9M2KM1IJ4LFW0ZV/IMG_3739.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143978433-FTBO4Q2PKCLPBAG1F572/IMG_3751.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143979866-5W7M6XW53HO7I4F5XYJ8/IMG_3768.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577143991436-8NY97MLYYJH6FDV9HMAN/IMG_3771.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577144200399-VS8IW5GALIRWQVPNIF7P/IMG_3811.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577144194388-DBOGHTSC18L06Z0B9587/IMG_3819.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145516362-8MS8L30ECHXJ3OGN1QQQ/IMG_3852.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145525991-BMWL7VXM16T2TEBIGXEI/IMG_3894.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145550450-26N6YM7OL22X67QCMG2A/IMG_3943.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145554465-RY7I8JGQTQ4NZBI5FZSR/IMG_3944.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145562605-2XDVG47CA0EIHVPBMXTD/IMG_3989.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145572405-VOH9KLIYFZ6XDBCICL2R/IMG_3998.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145687841-70DNP4MZBZ6BW5Z67SJN/IMG_4109.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577145679896-F9IN4TCC84BJQ7UPKCAV/IMG_4125.jpeg 2019 Nepal https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/19281978 daily 0.75 2019-12-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988011123-3CJU0OUKY6M238SQPD8U/1.jpeg 1928-1978 - Holy dress A man came into my life then. He was already in it, but it’s around the time of the first memory I have of him. It isn’t my memory. It is the memory I have, which is his, but I have it. This is the first I’ve spoken about it - which is more than he ever did. Even if he wanted to, he didn’t have the words. Tata was a man of few. He was one of the men who, angry at the way their life has gone, but unaware of any other way, choose to violently assault not the random stranger they will never see again, but the person who cares about them the most, because that is who is responsible for life not having gone the right way. He was never responsible. Mama couldn’t be. She died and the twins did too. I was responsible. For everything. It was always me. That he let me know, walking us to the church, the moment he came into my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988011123-3CJU0OUKY6M238SQPD8U/1.jpeg 1928-1978 - Holy dress A man came into my life then. He was already in it, but it’s around the time of the first memory I have of him. It isn’t my memory. It is the memory I have, which is his, but I have it. This is the first I’ve spoken about it - which is more than he ever did. Even if he wanted to, he didn’t have the words. Tata was a man of few. He was one of the men who, angry at the way their life has gone, but unaware of any other way, choose to violently assault not the random stranger they will never see again, but the person who cares about them the most, because that is who is responsible for life not having gone the right way. He was never responsible. Mama couldn’t be. She died and the twins did too. I was responsible. For everything. It was always me. That he let me know, walking us to the church, the moment he came into my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988015504-7TPKLQGMSKXXZBAY2JAN/3.jpeg 1928-1978 - Growing up Hanna sees the brown mark on my skirt and tells me to come over with a belt and a cloth. When I have them, I stand in front of her and she grabs my arm. She lifts my clothes up. ‘Be quiet,’ she says, pulling the cloth up between my legs and wrapping the belt around it. ‘Finished.’ Keeping it in place, I walk slowly to my blankets. Monika barges in. ‘What are you doing?’ she asks. I tell her to go away. She jumps up and down and keeps asking. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988017103-VNKS2FVI2F7D04R051M9/4.jpeg 1928-1978 - Axe Tata stood behind me and showed me how to hold the axe. I swung fine, but once the axe was in the wood, I couldn’t lift it. ‘You can,’ he said. ‘You are not weak. Your brother is weak. But you are not. You are strong. You take responsibility for your actions. That is what you have to do, always. Take responsibility.’ He took the axe and pulled it out. ‘Your brother needs you to be strong. Your mother. She is not strong, but you, you…’ Tata’s hands were shaking. ‘I make you strong.’ I remember all that, holding this box. I know he’ll see this photo. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988031668-QKF49YASFS2A22NYUCH0/5.jpeg 1928-1978 - Uganda Monkeys don’t want us to go to class either. They want more food. Monika was silly for giving them anything, but even she didn’t think we’d all have to do marches just because she broke the rules. When we return to class I know that no one in class is focusing. Everyone looks at Monika when the teacher turns to the blackboard. Cristina is in front of me, and every few seconds she turns around to look. I do not. I stop myself. I pay attention. I listen. Elephant. Fish. Snake. Scorpion. I close my eyes and see the station in Karachi, and the scorpions that would scamper onto it, and all around me the sleeping bodies that looked like bags. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988037098-36FC8BKSCH09HR4AB49P/6.jpeg 1928-1978 - Road to camp They drive our mail down this road. Tata works at the post office with a Greek and a Hindu. He gets money for it. ‘I must speak English,’ Tata says. ‘Are you learning? You must learn. We must learn what they speak.’ It is late. The bugs are loud. We walk back to camp and I read on my bed, lamp under the net. When Tata gets home, he goes crazy. Lifts the lamp over his shoulders and backs away. ‘One of these nights,’ he spits, ‘you will burn the tent and everyone inside it because of your stupid reading at night. Read in the daytime. The night is for sleeping. Things are what they are.’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988039458-D0OQL4EFGPV4CD5G6L3P/7.jpeg 1928-1978 - Pisanki British soldiers gave us dresses to wear for our birthdays. Monika and me, our birthdays on the same day. Close to Easter this year. Monika reminds me of Mama. I sit beside her and remember Mama at the last Easter we had, dropping the onion peels into the boiling water and slipping the eggs in with a spoon. When the eggs were done she’d put them on a plate and we’d sit at the table. Mama would show me how to scratch the tiny lines in the shell but I couldn’t do it like her. She asked why Tata was hitting me. ‘I didn’t read my book properly,’ I said. Monika and I read together and I wear my dress whenever she is wearing hers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988041737-IIHT0WL5YLCEDG2FZQ7S/8.jpeg 1928-1978 - Transport The trucks are slow over the ice. Two hundred miles from the station to where we are going. That’s what they’re saying. We do not know where we are going. I look around the truck and spot a loose flap of canvas. I can reach it. Pull it, roll it up then straighten it out again. Move it this way and that. For another hundred miles. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988044028-0NWQWXIL7DT8GPV2D8RY/9.jpeg 1928-1978 - Destination She smacks the wall with her knuckles and nearly topples forward. I sit the cripple up. ‘You know,’ she sputters into my ear, hot and oily, ‘that you are lucky to be with me, here? What do you do? Put cow shit in buckets, and get grains, and just walk around, doing nothing? Do what I am telling you to do or I will kick you out and you’ll freeze before you come back in.’ I do not know how she will kick us without any legs. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988051654-OP9EJ0D4T96LV9R2F2C0/10.jpeg 1928-1978 - Visions Someone comes out of the trees. I put my hands over my forehead and squint to see who. Mama. It is Mama, standing there. I see her, there in the fire. I can see her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988054672-56P65Q0P3O07PE7JS9SU/11.jpeg 1928-1978 - Lake Albert My toes are in the mud. I cough. Clench the gold necklace. Beat my chest. It feels like I am choking. ‘We were jumping off the jetty.’ Tomasz rests the side of his finger on my chin. ‘You slipped and hit your head. I swam over and pulled you here and, then, I don’t know, you just woke up. You just woke up.’ I close my eyes, listening to the water. I feel his hands on my shoulders. He checks himself, and me, for leeches. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988055941-BZ5D9PQPU629MRJ3LMED/12.jpeg 1928-1978 - Porridge 1 Porridge is stuck to the windows. Thick, gluey peels. I follow the nurse. She knows Polish and English. Other nurses are with her. We walk up stairs and stop at a door. The nurse calls my name. ‘This is your room doll,’ she says. ‘Two weeks on the day shift, then a week off, then two weeks on the night shift, then a week off. And so on. The shift is twelve hours. Break is one hour. Alright.’ She rolls her eyes and lifts the gold chain around my neck with her thumb. ‘You do not wear this. You will be choked.’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988073660-0AJVOMAGNX805W8Y7HHF/15.jpeg 1928-1978 - Cicadas Little boys pick cicada shells off the trees. I walk past timber posts and iron sheets and see another bus coming in, from Kelso. Ciocia and Wucjiu will be on this one. I know that they will be on it. The bus stops in front of the building. Workers are standing around. I approach but do not get too close. I do not want any of them to see me. I do not want to answer any of their questions. I just want to see Ciocia and Wucjiu. I look for their faces. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988057385-VSSRNRNEJDANUA9Y0RTT/13.jpeg 1928-1978 - First mango ‘Did you take one?’ Monika lifts the yellow heart off her lap. ‘They gave them out. Mangoes.’ I sit up. She cuts the mango on one side and then on the other, leaving a wide slice in the middle. ‘You can’t eat that. There is a big seed and it is hard to cut.’ She scores a grid pops out cubes of bright orange flesh. ‘Did they show you how to do that?’ I answer her in English. She pokes her tongue out. ‘Eat it,’ she orders, ‘it is sweet.’ Like pure sugar. I take the knife and try to cut the middle piece. The seed is strange and woody, and I cannot cut through it, but I cannot see it. In my head Tata is taking an axe. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988077121-JVI9MIGQIC5BRU9YITF4/16.jpeg 1928-1978 - Lily Tea cut short by Lily kicking the walls. Other patients start to wake up. Torches flicker. One of the nurses is hunched over with her hands across her stomach. Another nurse runs down the corridor. Three others grab Lily and try to keep her legs down. I help. ‘I know my name. My name is Lily. I know my name. My name is Lily,’ she repeats, over and over as she wraps her arms around me. More nurses come. We force her onto the ground. She breathes loudly through her nose but her mouth is shut. Her body throws itself, up and down. More come and her arm is jabbed with a needle, and jabbed again. In a moment she is still. I look at her shoulder, at a brown mark forming under her garment. Blood. I clench my fists and look up, seeing my face in the glass on the broken door, dark, lit, then dark again. ‘She needs surgical spirits.’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988086360-095X0YC9FCVAL0VJ52ZO/17.jpeg 1928-1978 - Porridge 2 Over the sink I bite into a mango and wipe my mouth with my forearms. No time to wash my hands. Rushing through the corridor, I wipe my hands on my dress. They are sticky from the mango. I feel sticky under the arm too. I squeeze my arms like I’m wringing out the sweat. We’re serving. I lift a bowl off the tray and reach over Gwen, placing it in front of her. I do the same for the next patient, and the next. I come to Lily. She smiles. My English is good but this morning a smile and food is all she wants. Until she whispers. I turn. ‘What did you say?’ ‘Unclean hands!’ She jumps and suddenly I cannot see, and a bowl hits the table and my face melts, and I dig my fingers into molten porridge concrete. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988088983-0BHHFTV3VDEGF7GPUHCD/18.jpeg 1928-1978 - Someone I could've known On the way here I saw a group of men beating someone up. ‘Can’t you see where you are going?’ they yelled, bottles smashing, ‘dumb Syrian, are you blind? Dapto dog!’ I watched him do nothing. I wanted him to fight back, I wanted to turn around and go in the other direction but I did not do any of those things. I stood, frozen, and watched. When the men saw me they got up and cleared out. I turn my head. No one from the pub came out. No one nearby. Just this man, on the ground. I went over to him, sat with him. Then I came here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988098131-T7PTI79OCCYORKVKLQWE/19.jpeg 1928-1978 - Silver city The cold blasts through the wood into my nostrils, sharpening my hairs: I am a porcupine, closed and small, like those drawings on the wall in our classroom in Uganda. There were drawings of elephants and zebras and lions but we never saw the real ones. I wish I could have seen more of them. Not monkeys in the trees and on arms laughing at you, but stampedes on the plain. I wish I could have seen them running. I wish I could have found somewhere high up and very far away from where they were, so I could see their whole bodies, and see them all, and where they are going. I wish I could have seen that. Just once, in all the years that I was there. The trees are different here. And the storms are nothing like Africa. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988102476-Z93HOWN4SI5ECO8ATUH7/20.jpeg 1928-1978 - Częstochowa The Madonna doesn’t blink. I don’t want to carry her but I know Tata wants me at the front. ‘Słoneczko, słoneczko! Look!’ A moth is on Tata’s finger and everything that was important is gone. His other hand is in the air, fingers stretched and not moving, and between them, his cigarette. He stares at the moth open-mouthed, and there are lines in his forehead, like he is seeing something that he has never seen before. The moth flies off. Tata laughs. I look at him, puff my cigarette, and laugh too. ‘What’s funny?’ Tata wipes his eyes with the back of his finger and shakes his head. ‘It just wanted to say hello, but it said nothing.’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988103962-SWM7DYUPF9YMXOUBSU60/21.jpeg 1928-1978 - Summer On the radio they say it’s unseasonably hot. Getting off the tram there’s wetness under my arms and down my back and behind my ears. There’s time to relax before I see them but I do not want to sit. I walk, away from the station, to Grace Bros. On the air, and on my skin, I smell and feel the thickness coming from the brewery, coming out of the bricks. It wouldn’t bother the girls but it bothers me. The smell of alcohol and no one drinking it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988115227-2KRMDDG8GLIOOFVJGA8O/22.5.jpeg 1928-1978 - Reception Andrew heard that there were Europeans coming to Sydney and he wanted some of the culture, and he got Cristina, and she got a man who listened. He got cucumbers and sour cream and black bread, and she got lamb chops. None of that is on these tables. I get up and put my arms around Franciszek. Tata grumbles - I can hear the vibrations down his suit, onto his hand, across the table, and up Franciszek’s collar. ‘Polish peopl in Australia,’ Franciszek says, waving his finger, ‘are not like Polish people in Poland.’ Andrew laughs and beats the table with a fist. He tries to coax Tata into drinking beer but Tata won’t touch the stuff. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988118813-QYHRT1S581QK6SFAN837/22.jpeg 1928-1978 - Holding Holding Tata, holding him close so that I feel his side through my dress, I remember the white buckle shoes and my sister behind me, holding my hand. I remember the camera flash. Through the door I see the aisle, and further, all of them. Cristina and Monika moving away, and across the street people are sitting on cars and fences, watching. ‘We go?’ asks Tata, looking into the church. I nod and as we go, he places his walking stick against the door and leaves it there. His arm tenses. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988157457-OHRWKFZC1W8R764F4O1K/23.jpeg 1928-1978 - Night out Outside for a cigarette. What are we doing? We sit and feel the itch of the bites after the mosquitos have gone. I feel it around my ankles. I feel like scratching it. I remove my heels and hold them over my feet, and the itching is like mites. I’ll stamp them, crush them. Voices under my skin. We go back inside and dance again, and all the thoughts and feelings go away. He’s doing what I want him to do, and I’m who he wants me to be. The music is good and he knows how to lead, but I put his hand there, and it’s me who stops and sits back down. He follows. I love him. I married him without knowing it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988160231-MO7GSEUJT43016HLEBP5/24.jpeg 1928-1978 - Party We name everything in their pantry and fridge. The raspberry jam, the bowl of ricotta, the eggs, the butter cucumber, the tomato. Paprika, dill, onions. Cans. Faster and faster. We make a mess. Leave it. No one cares. We sit. God knows what we’re talking about. I’m not really there. I want objects that are simple, that I can talk about. He knows there are things that I’m not telling him. It’s hard to tell but I think he likes it. Here he does, anyway. When there’s a nice record on. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988188488-S37JXUFIWXR34ND4J1P4/25.jpeg 1928-1978 - Gold We joke about me being a knight with my gold armour and hair helmet and smile sword. That’s his joke. I like it. He means to say nice things, and when he’s saying nothing, he’s very serious. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1576988192481-CZPMX1NST92OS4UZ7LPV/26.jpeg 1928-1978 - Bath I had the most awful dream last night. It was back at Gladesville. When Lily died and they let those nurses go. They left her unattended with the water running and when they came back, she was in the tub, lying there, not moving or making a sound, except for the steam. Hot water running. They lifted her out of the water but her skin didn’t come with her. In my dream I was the skin. Like a snake, like what it sheds. And I tried to slither away but all I could do was make these crinkling sounds like chip packets. That wasn’t me who left the hot water running. That was them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577081209534-ZGJN6UJM2K4KWWSX7OFT/Cane%2BCutter%2BSCRIPT%2B2.jpg 1928-1978 - Cane Cutter (extract) The first page of a 2016 feature-length screenplay I developed in the years after my grandmother’s passing. Her childhood in rural Poland; survival of Siberian exile during WWII; relocation to Australia as a poor refugee; and her inability to emotionally connect; it was all the result of her psychologically and physically abusive father. In Cane Cutter, I take this background and apply it to a fiction: an elderly migrant discovers that her estranged father is still alive and travels hundreds of kilometres to find and confront him. Screenplay available on request. https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/20182020-bush daily 0.75 2020-10-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105353231-J7KPU0XHA54QDBJYNIU8/IMG_8360.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105353231-J7KPU0XHA54QDBJYNIU8/IMG_8360.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105352937-MN3UHFDHIJ8QTYZ6GJRV/IMG_8353.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105224217-6YFFE24SW1BKD95K3O5N/IMG_8319.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105204650-WGYKZJ4MQVAE5TM6TPIB/IMG_8332.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105252585-EIQYDZ77ZOKM93M83J74/IMG_8333.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105264565-S1BJZTABRV97DN6OYLVG/IMG_8334.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105291999-W74Q9DAGDECOX8O3YBTY/IMG_8349.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105309104-B8C7DKRNH302FUCDAZWN/IMG_8350.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105394196-7DVCZ52R09WQD586J05W/IMG_8361.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105401510-8JNQTLNNZXHROTM3JTR9/IMG_8369.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105430456-FC4G9RHT78WVWDOE37OV/IMG_8374.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105436440-BPNHJZ0WKUJ0HA3Q25N4/IMG_8377.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577105517008-QHXSZO1WN448YAJW92D0/BUSH+-+Milk+of+Ants+1.jpg 2018-2020 Bush - Milk of Ants (extract) The title for this short film comes from the Lebanese village expression “milk an ant”, which is used to characterise a person who is able to get the most out of something by whatever means necessary. In Milk of Ants, Sabah battles dementia in an aged care facility while bushfires rage on the television and the world around her becomes increasingly unrecognisable. Screenplay available on request. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577804358337-3Y7G0IO017OWCYNA94ER/IMG_8533.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577804356502-V8XD2PMEZ06J5FX9583B/IMG_8515.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577804416047-8YE69EZAQEEWAM6LCIGW/IMG_8517.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577804376308-A6MNXED3I1PIW7R0VPAT/IMG_8527.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577804418700-NQQSOIV9KDC5R4V8W4CH/IMG_8532.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1577804452082-XQM9P3SMKB498IFJABRL/IMG_8512.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602906824758-TA4NHY7IXFCPL05WHU8P/IMG_0227.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602906836570-S3Q37P2XAJDEC2YQ5W3C/IMG_0228.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602906919823-BU3U5XFZUVDUJDID3REF/IMG_0232.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602906879683-JT6AN8HR3496AP1YW71G/IMG_0246.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602906972780-A79EI50FY22W20LZNF5Z/IMG_0247.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602907021334-MDJ2X0D64K5H2BKLB2VG/Screen+Shot+2020-10-17+at+2.49.59+pm.png 2018-2020 Bush - Goodbye Text [Extract] What is protection? Who needs protecting? Do the old shelter the young, or do children renew their elders? In Goodbye Text, Bridget struggles to keep devastating news from Corinne, her granddaughter: Corinne’s father and his fellow volunteer firefighters have been overrun by bushfire. In production. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602907012552-7RUP4Y3NCHJF3CS4BLZ4/IMG_0248.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602907007384-BH1BKBAICONA0C68504Q/IMG_0251.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602907059485-PNY3HCPMBB8DZK1BBQP0/IMG_0253.jpeg 2018-2020 Bush https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/2020-sydney-city daily 0.75 2020-10-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908737036-6LZUNE7X3QGNI5V93EDP/IMG_0835.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908737036-6LZUNE7X3QGNI5V93EDP/IMG_0835.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908723115-NAJ7Z93GBDRICRR0DUTY/IMG_0838.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908777348-ARBPXJG94IF0KFUHCJ0H/IMG_0841.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908800553-MUQLAOH0YJWPCUVG4BJK/IMG_0842.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908839238-TY2NXMQ2K9M6VDM8SLA7/IMG_0843.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908853188-C75E3BOE4P3W2XME9ED3/IMG_0847.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908893886-1EMFSUKY7GNME2YJR915/IMG_0849.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908909973-F28HBAB4WX4KGEEVFJ06/IMG_0850.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908952970-K28VSR01IWGCZNM6GLYE/IMG_0852.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602908970466-B9HKRDFUONFUL593WIUE/IMG_0853.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909001501-56HY9D47U0B03PCQAC41/IMG_0855.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909027515-WJHB4TXJ6XL8J479NWNQ/IMG_0858.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909061035-NOD2Y5RAWWW9D5249GJQ/IMG_0860.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909073984-6R9TKU2VG6RPXXEMHO2G/IMG_0861.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909121148-3KD2A4K46WEWH4LFLLJU/IMG_0862.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909107165-6F5DMVT7VSOHP60WSW19/IMG_0867.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909153950-WGYMZFS3XOQCYZA44OWJ/IMG_0868.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909168293-Y96BJW3K6RJV54IBMIZP/IMG_0870.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909219229-IK2YQX54ZXC9N9IVE8AP/IMG_0871.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909214436-R069JE4A0H6HC57QZR0B/IMG_0872.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909282801-PR46WOIDJCPYD4EIWUT8/IMG_0873.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909278119-MEHYCDFP7CPHZKTQ26RJ/IMG_0876.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909315438-YBV2A1H0DUT21LQE5YE0/IMG_0877.jpeg 2020 Sydney City https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/1602909292677-QV6ZM4YWGZCUQI2XT73I/Screen+Shot+2020-10-17+at+3.14.27+pm.png 2020 Sydney City - The Chamoun Family Home [Extract] Nik’s elder brother Mark had the body for beaches and parties, but was never seen at either; instead he walked the night streets of Sydney. Then he died. Now Nik is starting high school, his grandfather is in hospital, and his father is more withdrawn than ever. Nik’s first day is going to be full of lessons. A feature screenplay exploring the impacts of intergenerational trauma on men trapped in un-mentored, hyper-masculinised worlds. In development. https://www.marcuskhoudair.com/about daily 1.0 2026-04-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5df72a33802c460cab1b14d4/b56372eb-e602-4df7-bcbd-f91ef7d6c02b/013_EmmaElias_IMG_9584_hires_b%26w_v1.jpg About - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.